Tag Archives: Goal

It’s My Fucking Birthday, Bitches! (A Shameless Plug)

So… Today is the start of me inching my way towards old… I’m a bit torn about this but not in the way that you would expect…

 

I mean… the bitch in me is taking the reins…

 

But the nerd in me is finding it fucking hilarious…

 

My frame of mind these days?

 

I will strike down your soul into the fiery pits of Hell!

 

…but we’ll give wedgies to everyone we see on the way there, I promise…

 

No… it’s not supposed to make sense… If I’ve learned anything in my, now, twenty-nine years of existence it’s that nothing will make sense. At least, not for very long anyway. Recently, I have turned myself into the most dreaded thing of all, an adult. Yes, I know that none of you saw this coming but I have to come to terms with the fact that it’s true. I am a big girl now and boy does it suck. I mean, I’m completely content but I’m not content with my level of content…ness…

 

With each passing day, I get just a little bit closer to the big three oh which apparently means that the know-it-all teenage whiner inside of me has officially died. It’s about time… I just didn’t think I’d mourn that idiot this much. I’m reaching that age that makes my dreams feel a tiny bit harder to achieve if only because I’m realizing that I can actually achieve them if I kick myself in the ass. I have a corporate job… with benefits… and security… even though my small amount of debt is becoming more suffocating and some security is welcomed, I never thought I’d be here. I always wanted to be bigger than this and more important. I imagined greatness without realizing that something like that won’t just fall into my lap. I’ve had the mindset of being out of place for so long now that I’ve forgotten to notice how much my life has taught me. I’ve pictured myself as being the next Chuck Palahniuk or David Fincher for an embarrassingly long and uneventful time. It’s a mindset that brings nothing but grief.

 

No more say I!

 

The more I embrace my inner nerd, I’ve discovered the things that make me pretty fucking awesome. Yes, I am still a dateless tomboy who spends way too much time with the drama of television and movie characters than actual people, but I’ve finally settled into who I am.

 

And, you know what? It’s mighty fine here. I have experienced many facets of life through my numerous corporate positions in the blue-collar world, which has given me an enormous pool of literary inspirations. My goal of becoming something bigger than this has not changed but it has become more realistic. My twenties were professionally uneventful for me because I allowed them to be. Now, as I head towards my thirties, I will continue to dream big. Enormously big. Gigantic.

 

Because twenty-nine years is a long enough time to learn one simple fact…

 

I ooze with awesome.

 

Even if I’m the only one that sees it, it’s still a fucking fact.

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