To Whom It May Concern

This may be the last letter I ever write so I felt the need to address you. Yes. You. The one reading this right now. I one dragging your eyes across this screen in order to take in these words. You are here to see this vomit I choose to spill on this page. This is what you come here for, correct? To witness the utter mess that is made up of the thoughts of everyone else to avoid hopelessly scraping together your own. We show up here with no intention of lingering but here we are…

Still…

Mindlessly coming back…

It is the endless loop of avoidance in order to push aside the real questions about what the fuck it is we are truly doing here. Are we here? Living? Slowly dying? Pretending to live while we cautiously whisper our disdain for the repetitious monotony of daily life? Some of us get to live within our dreams and do all those things our overly motivational teachers told us we could when we were in elementary school. The rest of us? Well, we get to push, pull, scratch, scrape, punch, kick, and claw our ways through what we think is some sort of ladder to a better life. The truth? It is a circular trapeze act suspended just above the ground floor of Nothing Enterprises that has no end. We fight, with everything we have, to get to the other side of what we think is the path to our true greatness in action. At times we help those around us. Other times we shove faces in dirt in order to better our professional selves. The only constant is that we are not the only ones lost within the same battle.

It all comes full circle eventually. All of it.

Every…

Last…

Piece…

If you want more, they encourage more. If you ask for more, they push for even more. If you demand more,… Well, you better shut your mouth, child, because this is all there is. Why should you demand anything when this company, life, and/or existence has already given you so much? I mean, are you or are you not a living, breathing human being? Life is your reward and what you choose to do with it is entirely up to you.

So…

What are you doing here? Are you living? Or simply here waiting for the end of the endless loop?

I find myself lost in this lately. Wanting to throw the towel in and live a penniless existence amongst the others who have found solace in the minimalist lifestyle. They always look just slightly less… stressed. But… can they really be less stressed? With the crushing weight of the obligation that is inflation and bills and taxes and do more and give more and cry less? Are they not just as stressed? Their loop is also endless. Living at the inner ring of our circular trapeze act of death.

It is the ones that leap off of the sides that find something more. More of what? I do not know. Is it an escape route or another circus act meant to tease success?

The world is what we make of it. Or, at least, that is what they say.

I wanted more. Dreamed of it even. Fell into the trap of having to forget those dreams in order to make ends meet. Earn the income. Take care of those around you. Do more. Give more.

What happens when none of it matters anymore? What happens when we realize that it is all just a game? What happens when we discover that the ringmaster of the circus is the person we see in the mirror every morning?

This is my notice. My pink slip. My resignation from this loop. At some point we all just need to take that leap.

Sincerly,

Still in the Same Spot